Sex and My Life

As I was putting away the Christmas Cards (I keep them, every year.  I think it's fun to go back and look at them every once in a while.), it crossed my mind I've slept with some of the people I've received them from.  A few of my friends have slept with me, and yet we've remained friends.

I have know these women in a very intimate way, as they've known me.  We've seen each other naked, and I know what sounds they make when they orgasm.  Now I get Christmas cards from them.  I love them for the help they gave me, to become the man I am today.  I wouldn't be the person I am without each and every one of them.  They mean a lot to me and I don't want to ever let them go.  I'll never revisit those passions, but they were the fire which kept my train going down the track at certain points.

This brings up something which is helping me get through January.  Every one to two years, I go through a stretch of time where I garner a lot of interest from the opposite sex.  It's not like the world has become a porno, or even there's anything more than intense flirting, but it is something.  It's not intentional, although I am a flirt, a horrible one at times too.  It's more unusual, a pointed interest.  It'd be easy to say I'm wearing a popular cologne or my hair looks good (it never does, what's left of it).  It's a sharp contrast from most days where I just go through life and lead a very normal, ignored existence.

I really don't want to play this up like I'm some Don Juan, but I know when someone is flirting with me, and to have it come at me in a wave is...smile inducing.  A friend of mine, after giving me a ton of crap about it, felt as if it's a confidence thing people can sense.  I'm not sure.  He shut up after watching it happen himself.

This is the first time it has happened since I gave up the drinking, and I can say unequivocally I'm not intentionally flirting.  Really I'm not.  I'm in no mood to wander foreign fields, or fulfill a role in an unfulfilled life.  It's not that I don't appreciate it, (it makes me blush), but it's not what I need in my life right now.

Trust me, when I make the decision to move forward with someone, my intentions are clear.  Now, if I could only do something about the cold feet...