One Year

Today marks the year anniversary of my quitting drinking, hopefully the first of many.  YEA!

I am happy, but I don't feel like celebrating.  This was me just getting back to who I really am.  I'll celebrate at my five year anniversary, God willing.

I do take communion wine at church.  Not a lot.  Funny thing is I freak out if I feel like I've taken too much (usually just a glorified sip).  I don't want to get to the point where I'm knocking back the entire challis of the 'blood of Christ.'  My counselor thinks it's okay to have wine as part of a religious service.


What has gotten me through this?

First friends and family.  I've only let a handful know what was going on and they have been wonderful.

A trifecta of exercise, personal faith and counseling.

Realizing what a different person I had become and never wanting to revisit it.


What are some of the differences?

I am clearly healthier.  My blood pressure is back down to normal, I can breath again, I have a lot more energy and my liver and kidneys have got to be doing gratitude back flips.

It took about 8 months, but the residual effects of the drinking, feeling like I was recovering from a hangover, have disappeared.  After the first month, it was never constant, but it took another seven moths to get that completely out of my system.

I've lost a lot of weight.

I'm not slurring my speech nearly as much as I used to.  I also am not drunk sleeping hard like I used to.

My dreams have returned.  Since it was gradual, I didn't know how muted my dreams had become.  They are very vibrant now, the difference of looking at a old black and white TV from the 50's to a high def one today.

My mind is working a lot better.  I'm not forgetting things like I used to, my deductive reasoning is as sharp as ever and I'm able to analyze much quicker and more effectively.

My emotions are re-balanced.  It's no longer happy 95% of the time and angry 5%.  It's more even keeled, and more diverse.

My kids are a lot happier.  My wife is a lot happier.  I am a lot happier.


I am terrified of falling back into the drink, but that fear has been a good fuel to keep me on the straight and narrow, so let me embrace it and hope my fear will prevent me from making a bad choice.  Most people didn't realize I was a drunk because it gradually got worse and worse, going under the radar for many years.  Today, if I were to resume on my drinking of old, you'd immediately realize something was wrong with me.

I never want to go back, but I still occasionally crave the whiskey.  That's f-ed up, but it is my life I've made for myself and it'll be the one I live, sober.

Thanks for reading these posts the last few months.  I've said before and I'll say again, this has been a wonderful outlet and I really appreciate it.  Thank you.