One Year

Today marks an anniversary for me.  One year ago, November 13th, was the day I first removed alcohol from my life.

My issues were a longtime coming, but some personal losses and failures in late summer/early fall of last year led me to mute life in a breathtaking and dangerous fashion.

I didn't fully remove the alcohol until February 3rd of this year.  I found myself drinking around Christmas and once again in late January, but, outside of communion wine, I have not touched it since.  It was a decision I'm glad I made, and one I had needed to make.  I was getting to a scary place.  It was too much.  It was only a matter of time before I made a major mistake, a mistake which would have not only changed the trajectory of my life, but my kid's lives too.

I remember.  Doing a self detox was terrifying and fascinating.  It took me two days but I got past it.  I had a lot of support.  I'd let a few people know I was having a problem and I needed to rectify it, but in the end, I had to do this myself.  It was the only way I was going to succeed.

I did not go through AA.  I tried initially.  More later.

Today, my head works better, a lot more like it used to.  I am healthier, I have more money, I'm more productive, I'm happier and my kids are happier.

Over the next few weeks, from now until February 3rd, I am going to share some of the more interesting thoughts I've had about drinking, the culture of drinking, drinking in America, and observations from when someone decides to become alcohol free.

Let me begin by saying this, if you are like I was, knowing you are having a problem, knowing you are drinking too much, too often, but you're afraid to give it up, for whatever the reason, look in the mirror, acknowledge you need to change, and start taking the steps.  They have to be your steps, it has to be your path.  No one is pouring the liquor down your throat.  It's you who is doing it.  Don't fall back on Thanksgiving, Christmas, football games, New Years, the times when drinking is societal and cultural, as your excuse on why you don't quit.  Get help (I have a sensational counselor, Bob), and take those first steps.  I can tell you one thing, you'll never have success on a project you don't begin.

I feel better.