Two Years

This is my second anniversary of my first attempt at getting sober.  When the days get darker, and the holidays get closer, I can feel the tugging, the pulling, ever so slightly.

"Come back!  You remember the wine with the turkey, the warm Drambuie with a slice of pecan pie, the bold red wine with a prime rib dinner and the spiced wine at a winter outdoor event.  It was FUN!  You can always control it, you can stop at one drink."

Then you remember the guzzling of whiskey, drowning the make believe pain your addiction had created; it laughing at you as you obeyed.  You remember never sobering up completely, the numerous times you almost were caught, your brain not working right, the mistakes you were making.  You think about your kids, and how much more they like you sober; how it would break them to lose you a second time.

Never again.