Friday, June 27, 2014

Wild Flowers

Born in June,
Bright yellows, purples, blondes and light blues,
Whites, pinks and reddish oranges.
Nestled on the floors,
Under a canopy of pines.
Some with a sweet smell,
Some depending on their looks.
Fighting in a wild world,
They always take my take my breath,
Continuously creating the,
Fondest of summer memories...


Friday, June 20, 2014

Vacation

Hey There Delilah

I am going on vacation for a few weeks, but I'll be back.  A little music to leave you with.  Talk to you soon.

Tuesday, June 17, 2014

Closure

Hi all!

If you have read this blog over the last few years, the last year particularly, thanks.  I appreciate it.

This last year I had been dealing with a personal issue.  It involved what I thought was a good friend, and ended up with me scratching my head and asking a lot of questions.  I spent the last 9 months waiting for any sign I was wrong about the individual involved and their motivations.  None came.  I will just have to presume I was (unfortunately) correct about this individual in hindsight.  There is only so much I can do.

I had an amazing counselor help me through the tough times and stress, the questions and negative feelings.  One of the things he wanted me to do was to write every time I felt emotions related to this individual.  I did.  It helped.  It was amazing way to rid myself of the slings and arrows.

A lot of the posts from the last year have been put into draft mode.  There are quite a few (and some real barn burners I never published) and that's where they will stay.  I'll keep them as a reminder of what I went through.  I got it out of my system and now feel better.

If there is one you liked, and you'd like to read it again, please send me a comment and I'll be in touch.  If you put an e-mail or contact information, I will make sure it doesn't get published.

Once again, thank you.

Monday, June 16, 2014

Forgiveness

There is one friend I have learned a lot from in this last year.  She has had a rough go of it and was desperately trying to reconnect with her daughters.  After she endured some horrible and spirit crushing failures, I was pleasantly surprised to hear one of her daughters, one she thought might be eternally lost to her, drove from Florida to Texas to be with her.  A lesson in faith and forgiveness is always a good one.


To a friend:

I forgive you.  Live a good life and find the happiness you truly do deserve.  If we ever cross paths again, I hope it is with a smile.

Saturday, June 14, 2014

Natural Innuendo


 

The e-mail

Today marks the anniversary of what could be the most mis-interpreted e-mail in the history of all electronic communications.  I wrote a friendly e-mail, congratulatory, encouraging and coalescing, going out of my way to try to foresee any potential conflict and diffuse it before their were any issues.  It initially was received with very little fanfare, but like the sparklers in the parking lot before the fireworks show, I hadn't seen anything yet.

Later, I got a call ripping on me, insisting everything I wrote actually meant the opposite of what was intended.  This was the springboard to what became an epic ass chewing, with me being accused of a lot of nasty things...untrue things.  It was designed to hurt my feelings, and mission accomplished, it did.  I think the intent of all of the criticism was to make me so angry I would say, "the hell with you."  It's not my nature to walk away, especially when what happened made zero sense and I wanted to redeem myself.

Trust me, I re-read the e-mail a thousand times before deleting it.  There was no way a person could have misunderstood that much.  I was doomed.  That e-mail became a tool to facilitate the goal.  I wish I hadn't sent it, but one year ago I was going to get thrown out of one of my better friends lives no matter what I did.

Fireworks indeed...


Monday, June 2, 2014

The Train Tracks

The boy came out of the lilacs and stared upon the tracks.  His mother was preparing for his grandparents coming over later and she said he could go beyond the back bushes to where the trains 'lived' behind his house.  They were loud and big, and for the boy, the coolest thing in the world.

He ran up the the embankment, stood in the middle of the lines and looked down the tracks.  In the one direction, the tracks came around a big curve hidden behind a grove of weeping willows.  In the other, the tracks made a bee line to the east.  Blossoming golden shrubs and white daisies lined the sides of the tracks, with silver maples and pines rising further back. It was late May and the helicopter seeds were covering the ground while the flowers and evergreens fought for aromatic dominance.

The young boy put his hand on the rail, hot with the afternoon sun.  He felt the excitement in that heat, pulled his hand back and stood up.  Ever since he saw his first train through the foliage of his back yard, hearing the roar growing louder and louder until he shook, ever since his initial fear transformed instantly to fascination with the simple wave of an engineer out the window of the diesel engine, he so wanted to jump on one and ride away.  His mom poked at him, insisting all he wanted to do was ride to the next town for his favorite pizza.  He'd definitely stop for his favorite, sausage and onion with extra sauce, but he had taken time at the library to study trains.  Books and television stoked his passion, making him more determined to go for a ride one day.

He knew where the lines in his back yard went.  To the west, the prairies, the mountains and eventually the Pacific coast.  To the east, Minneapolis, Chicago, the Ohio Valley, New York City, passing farms and towns, the engineers waving to the folks who happened to be lucky enough to live by the tracks. He was driven by the excitement and freedom of his spirit thrown forward by a powerful engine, pushing and pushing.

One day he'd do just that, jump on a train and let it carry him away.  Pulled up by the trains embrace, the engineer smiles asking where do he wants to go first.  Pure freedom, no rules, no regulations, doing whatever he wanted, whenever he wanted, dancing across the countryside, his happiness and joy only limited to where the tracks were laid.  Excitement in it's purest form awaited.

He could sense it.  The train was coming.  The boy knew the schedules by heart and it was almost time for the 2:37 to the Twin Cities.  It mostly had nondescript boxcars but occasionally an animal hauler would come buy, filled with screaming creatures so upset they managed to be louder than the train, especially if they were towards the back.  He listened hard, but couldn't quite make out the whistle blasting as it crossed road after road.  He wondered if the rails were vibrating.  He knelt down and quickly grabbed the hot line again, feeling nothing but maybe a distant hum.

The boy straightened up.  He looked towards the bend and wondered when the train would come, bursting through the quiet, pushing air out, making the willows lash out like whips.  If he were to jump on the train, he'd have to time it correctly.  He had gotten really good on his school playground practicing jumping from the jungle gym to the monkey bars.  He thought he could make it, never considering failure; a person jumping and missing, their last chance to escape, realizing too late what 'escape' could mean.

He got a determined look on his face.  He knew he could make it, he knew it.  He was going to set himself up, get a running start and when the 2:37 came by, he'd be off, leaving his old life behind and setting out on the adventure he was destined to embrace.  He just had to get to the dirt part of the tracks where the run up was even and time it so when he reached the train he would be able to grab a ladder on one of the boxcars.  Simple.

He smelt strawberry rhubarb pie.  The wind had changed direction, coming directly from his house, and straight from the kitchen where his mother was baking perfection.  The scent blasted through the lilacs and pines, wrapping its sweet tendrils around his small head.  He breathed in deep.  His Grandpa had always loved strawberry rhubarb pie.  The boy could remember sitting with him, devouring multiple pieces with ice cream, while his grandpa kept calling him a chip off the old block.  His birthday was coming up in June and he had already requested the pie.  It was his favorite as well.

The 2:37 could be heard in the distance, the train whistle blaring as it crossed the street a mile from his house.  He turned to face the willows waiting for it to show itself.  If he was going to jump on the train he would have to get down in position.  If not, he needed to get off the tracks. Even though he knew this train came by four days a week, he started to believe this may be his one chance to go.  He could jump free of school, chores, that bully who punched him everyday on the playground.  All of his current unwanted obligations left behind.

His mom's smile, his dog Loki, his train set his dad helped him build on weekends when he'd visit, his 1st grade teacher who gave him all of that work, but was always so nice and encouraging, the rose bushes in his yard, the art desk he painted trains at, his baseball team (who happened to have a game tomorrow), his mother's hugs which really did take the scary things away.

The train burst past the trees and finished the turn, barreling ahead.  He could feel the earth shake, he could feel the air being pushed away from in front of the mass of metal and he made his decision, at least for a day, and set off for what lie ahead.  The boy moved out of the direct path of the 2:37.

October 26th...