I so want to help a friend, but there is a problem...
I've know this friend for many years. Mid-last year she returned to my life and, as with many people who only see each other now and then, we resumed our friendship. She shared with me her impending divorce, impending move, her desire to change jobs and she seemed to be on the verge of a breakdown in regards to sending her youngest off to college. By the end of last August, we were very tight, talking in various methods two to three times a day. She then started to try to move ahead with the monumental hurdles she had to jump.
She slowly became the invisible woman. It didn't happen over night, she sort of just started to slip away. Down to one communication a day, every other day, every few days, unreturned calls, texts and e-mails. My wife invited her to my surprise birthday party and she never responded and by the time of her birthday in late fall, she never even said thank you for her birthday gift.
Why did she disappear? I do not know. As God as my witness, there was no attempt at 'upgrading' our relationship. She is bright and bubbly, sincere and honest and she is quite attractive, but frankly, I'm not looking and even if I was, she's just not my type. The perfect friend. I had actually banked a lot personally on her after my scorched earth policy of a friendship last year, and I missed her. My guess was she might have found another guy. My wife's hairstylist, after being relayed the pertinent info at an appointment, became convinced she had fallen in love with me. I don't see how, and even though my wife questioned it at times, I don't think she really bought that idea either. I just hoped she wasn't depressed. I kept imagining asking her "are you lonely?", and her answering "yes."
Yesterday, my phone gave me a message saying my usable memory was almost out. I pulled up the storage page and quickly identified a few different apps to delete. Looking at the size of my phone and text usage, I decided to do some housekeeping there. I cleaned out a lot of phone messages and the call logs. I got rid of more than a few text message files, eventually coming across the back and forth I had had with my friend. The last message was from early February, when I told her I was still here. I decided to not delete it. Instead, I messaged her a very generic update on what we've been up to. I finished with "remember, I'm here."
I got a cryptic message back from her an hour later telling me she was in the hospital. I quickly followed up, asking what was wrong and I got an even vaguer text saying it had been a bad year. Now I'm wondering, if on top of everything else, did she get word of a serious health issue last fall. I've asked a few mutual friends if they know what's up but I stopped. It felt like digging through someone else's trash.
The perfect friend for me indeed. Wanting to help so bad, and not being able to. Sigh...
Wednesday, July 30, 2014
Monday, July 28, 2014
Friday, July 25, 2014
Thursday, July 24, 2014
Wednesday, July 23, 2014
Dreams
Lately I have been having vivid, thick, rich dreams. They are complicated and intense. There are realistic elements and fantastic elements. I think it's why I have been having emotional reactions I can't quite explain. It started a few weeks back. One day, after I woke up, I was very angry at someone I hadn't talked to in awhile. It was odd I was thinking about them at all, let alone having such a palatable rage in my throat. Looking back, I think it was the dreams. Lately, I have been remembering more of their details after I wake up. My emotions during the dreams run the gamut, positive and negative, but not nightmares. I don't wake myself up, just flow through my involuntary processing. When I do wake, it feels like I have lived another two or three days, but I'm not tired, just charged with energy and thoughts.
Some make me think, some make me yearn, some make me smile with naughtiness, some make me feel alone.
Some make me think, some make me yearn, some make me smile with naughtiness, some make me feel alone.
Tuesday, July 22, 2014
Sunday, July 20, 2014
The Divergence
My oldest son is at an interesting point in his growth. He "graduated" from elementary school this June and now gets ready to enter junior high. I know there are a lot of different set ups across the country, but in my kids school district, elementary school is kindergarten through 6th grade, junior high is 7th through 9th, and high school is 10th through 12th.
My son is 12 and I'm so proud of the young man he's becoming. He's always been a sweet hearted kid, and this has blossomed into a polite, intelligent, friendly, fun loving tween. When his "graduation" ceremony took place, when a kid would walk across the stage to get their "diploma," they would put up all of the school photos for each child from K-6th. My son was in the half of the kids who had 7 total pictures on display as he has always gone to the same school, watching as kids moved or open enrolled away, and new kids did the opposite into the district.
What caught me off guard was the kids who at one point or another, primarily from 1st to 3rd grades, were one of my son's better friends, but who I couldn't remember the last time my son hung out with them. There were a few where their name being called was a reminder they were still in the same school. It was funny but the kids he didn't play with anymore all had some similar traits; they were very loud, at times obnoxious, and starting to make bad choices, something they did back when they were younger but there is a 'cuteness' difference between a 7 year old and a 12 year old making bad choices.
As I look at my son's friends today, many of them have similar traits as well. Quieter, more polite, more artsy. They play sports, but none of them have an over-the-top parent who can't seem to 'turn it off,' a trait usually handed over to the kids of those aggressive parents. They are not social pariahs, and they all love traditional 12 year old boy stuff, video games, baseball cards, goofing off, but there are some things they do and like that don't fit into the traditional mold. For a lack of better way to say it, it's almost like you can see the kids naturally separate into the hunters and the hunted, most of my kids friends falling into the later category. This is not only something I see at his school, but also in other activities away from school. This just seems to be the age of the divergence; from everyone begin friends to a more segmented culture.
My boy isn't meek and will stand up for himself. He has always had a near Seinfeld quality about him. When someone goes to tease or make fun of him, he kind of looks at them, says "good luck with that," and walks away. A lot of times you can see the anger, frustration and jealousy rising off of the other kid. There is a palatable underlying message to the kids who over the last few years have discovered picking on others; "you're happy, I'm not and I don't like it."
I don't think my son will be bullied like some kids are today, relentless until the kid ends up in serious counseling or dead. I think we are all fools if we don't expect some level of teasing to happen in your child's life. It's how your child deals with that teasing which will determine how much of it they get. It's not about popping another kid in the nose, but rather the indifferent technique which really leads to the bullies leaving them alone. If they can't get to you, they will target someone else. I do understand this doesn't always work, but I have already told my son, you really get only one chance to throw the right cross, make sure it's when you have no other option, and make sure you connect.
We are, hopefully, a few years from the point where the heavy duty teasing will really ramp up in school. I'm probably fooling myself on that one, as the older kids in junior high are salivating at the chance to figure out which fresh meat they can torment. When my son is presented with a scenario where one of his best friends from 2nd grade is beating mentally or physically on one of his best friends from 4th grade, I'll do everything in my power to make sure he takes the right side and stands up for someone being picked on.
Today, on a hot summer day, we were at my community's local summer festival parade. One of my son's friends from school showed up with two other kids, both of whom had started down the wrong path earlier last year. My son's friend was talkative and buddied up to my son, but then quickly took off with his new friends. I have been wondering ever since if that was one of the last times they will talk as friends, at least until much later in life. Was that the last time they hang out together, even for just a few minutes, before the fork in the road overtakes them and the path of their lives begins without the other in it.
My son is 12 and I'm so proud of the young man he's becoming. He's always been a sweet hearted kid, and this has blossomed into a polite, intelligent, friendly, fun loving tween. When his "graduation" ceremony took place, when a kid would walk across the stage to get their "diploma," they would put up all of the school photos for each child from K-6th. My son was in the half of the kids who had 7 total pictures on display as he has always gone to the same school, watching as kids moved or open enrolled away, and new kids did the opposite into the district.
What caught me off guard was the kids who at one point or another, primarily from 1st to 3rd grades, were one of my son's better friends, but who I couldn't remember the last time my son hung out with them. There were a few where their name being called was a reminder they were still in the same school. It was funny but the kids he didn't play with anymore all had some similar traits; they were very loud, at times obnoxious, and starting to make bad choices, something they did back when they were younger but there is a 'cuteness' difference between a 7 year old and a 12 year old making bad choices.
As I look at my son's friends today, many of them have similar traits as well. Quieter, more polite, more artsy. They play sports, but none of them have an over-the-top parent who can't seem to 'turn it off,' a trait usually handed over to the kids of those aggressive parents. They are not social pariahs, and they all love traditional 12 year old boy stuff, video games, baseball cards, goofing off, but there are some things they do and like that don't fit into the traditional mold. For a lack of better way to say it, it's almost like you can see the kids naturally separate into the hunters and the hunted, most of my kids friends falling into the later category. This is not only something I see at his school, but also in other activities away from school. This just seems to be the age of the divergence; from everyone begin friends to a more segmented culture.
My boy isn't meek and will stand up for himself. He has always had a near Seinfeld quality about him. When someone goes to tease or make fun of him, he kind of looks at them, says "good luck with that," and walks away. A lot of times you can see the anger, frustration and jealousy rising off of the other kid. There is a palatable underlying message to the kids who over the last few years have discovered picking on others; "you're happy, I'm not and I don't like it."
I don't think my son will be bullied like some kids are today, relentless until the kid ends up in serious counseling or dead. I think we are all fools if we don't expect some level of teasing to happen in your child's life. It's how your child deals with that teasing which will determine how much of it they get. It's not about popping another kid in the nose, but rather the indifferent technique which really leads to the bullies leaving them alone. If they can't get to you, they will target someone else. I do understand this doesn't always work, but I have already told my son, you really get only one chance to throw the right cross, make sure it's when you have no other option, and make sure you connect.
We are, hopefully, a few years from the point where the heavy duty teasing will really ramp up in school. I'm probably fooling myself on that one, as the older kids in junior high are salivating at the chance to figure out which fresh meat they can torment. When my son is presented with a scenario where one of his best friends from 2nd grade is beating mentally or physically on one of his best friends from 4th grade, I'll do everything in my power to make sure he takes the right side and stands up for someone being picked on.
Today, on a hot summer day, we were at my community's local summer festival parade. One of my son's friends from school showed up with two other kids, both of whom had started down the wrong path earlier last year. My son's friend was talkative and buddied up to my son, but then quickly took off with his new friends. I have been wondering ever since if that was one of the last times they will talk as friends, at least until much later in life. Was that the last time they hang out together, even for just a few minutes, before the fork in the road overtakes them and the path of their lives begins without the other in it.
Saturday, July 19, 2014
Same Street, Different Directions
These two photos were taken on the same street not nearly one block from each other.
One, I can kind of tell what political party they belong to, the other no idea.
One has turned their front yard into a gorgeous field of flowers, at least for July. Their house might not be the freshest, but it looks nice The other's front yard is a dirt/grass/weed mixture, with a Gadsden Flag hanging from a front porch littered with empty beer cans.
One has four cars parked in his driveway and on the street, including the one pictured below. At least one other car, not a newer model needing some work, has a few similar bumper stickers. The other does not have a car visible on the street or driveway.
This is a simple. Who would rather have as your neighbor?
One, I can kind of tell what political party they belong to, the other no idea.
One has turned their front yard into a gorgeous field of flowers, at least for July. Their house might not be the freshest, but it looks nice The other's front yard is a dirt/grass/weed mixture, with a Gadsden Flag hanging from a front porch littered with empty beer cans.
One has four cars parked in his driveway and on the street, including the one pictured below. At least one other car, not a newer model needing some work, has a few similar bumper stickers. The other does not have a car visible on the street or driveway.
This is a simple. Who would rather have as your neighbor?
Friday, July 18, 2014
Thursday, July 17, 2014
Tuesday, July 15, 2014
Friday, July 11, 2014
Monday, July 7, 2014
Ranking the Doctors from Doctor Who - Revisited
Why the heck not!
In March of 2010, right before Matt Smith became the 11th Doctor, I ranked the Doctor's of Doctor Who. This is how my list broke down:
10. The 6th Doctor Colin Baker
9. The 3rd Doctor Jon Pertwee
8. The 7th Doctor Sylvester McCoy
7. The 1st Doctor William Hartnell
6. The 8th Doctor Paul McGann
5. The 2nd Doctor Patrick Thoughton
4. The 5th Doctor Peter Davison
3. The 9th Doctor Christopher Eccleston
2. The 10th Doctor David Tennant
1. The 4th Doctor Tom Baker
I need to revisit this list because I need to figure out where to put Matt Smith, but I also have to deal with the War Doctor, and fine tune two of the other doctors. First off Matt Smith.
The 11th Doctor Matt Smith - I really liked him as the Doctor. He understands the balance of keeping true to the character while interjecting his own personality. The River Song story line, while initially I did not like it, I found it to be very rewarding, and well thought out (go to YouTube and watch it from her perspective. Very Cool!). And he made Cybermen scary as all get go again. Two problems though, one the Amy and Rory story ended not with a bang but with a thud. Having the Weeping Angels take them out, especially in such an afterthought manner didn't sit well, but their characters were on a downward cycle anyway. The other problem is Clara. She is fun (and beautiful) but, at least as of now, I am not sure where her character and story line is going.
The War Doctor John Hurt - The fact that such a respected and well known actor would take this role tells you enough about how much of a following Doctor Who now has. It was a great touch, and a needed one too, to help traverse the 8th to 9th gap which has existed since the relaunch. His appearances have been limited, but I imagine you'll read more of his stories in future publishing. He held his own nicely on The Day of the Doctor and having him regenerate at the end was a nice touch. Still, as far as amount of content to judge him on, kind of thin around the edges.
Now we need to talk about two other Doctors. First the 8th Doctor Paul McGann. The Night of the Doctor did a lot of things, but two of the more important ones were to give him a regeneration sequence to the War Doctor, and, when getting ready to regenerate, he mentions all of his companions, companions previously restricted to the audio dramas which kept Doctor Who going before the reboot. This added a lot of depth to his body of work to be considered.
The other Doctor is the 9th Christopher Eccleston. This is not sour grapes because he didn't show up for a regeneration sequence for The Day of the Doctor. Actors are busy people and the ones I know who are good are usually committed to projects years ahead of time. This has more to do with clearly ranking him higher just because he was the doctor when they relaunched. Dalek is still a top all time episode and overall I really liked his tenure, but as I get further away from his time, the luster is coming off the apple.
New list:
12. The 6th Doctor Colin Baker
11. The 3rd Doctor Jon Pertwee
10. The 7th Doctor Sylvester McCoy
9. The 1st Doctor William Hartnell
8. The War Doctor John Hurt
7. The 2nd Doctor Patrick Thoughton
6. The 9th Doctor Christopher Eccleston
5. The 8th Doctor Paul McGann
4. The 11th Doctor Matt Smith
3. The 5th Doctor Peter Davison
2. The 10th Doctor David Tennant
1. The 4th Doctor Tom Baker
In March of 2010, right before Matt Smith became the 11th Doctor, I ranked the Doctor's of Doctor Who. This is how my list broke down:
10. The 6th Doctor Colin Baker
9. The 3rd Doctor Jon Pertwee
8. The 7th Doctor Sylvester McCoy
7. The 1st Doctor William Hartnell
6. The 8th Doctor Paul McGann
5. The 2nd Doctor Patrick Thoughton
4. The 5th Doctor Peter Davison
3. The 9th Doctor Christopher Eccleston
2. The 10th Doctor David Tennant
1. The 4th Doctor Tom Baker
I need to revisit this list because I need to figure out where to put Matt Smith, but I also have to deal with the War Doctor, and fine tune two of the other doctors. First off Matt Smith.
The 11th Doctor Matt Smith - I really liked him as the Doctor. He understands the balance of keeping true to the character while interjecting his own personality. The River Song story line, while initially I did not like it, I found it to be very rewarding, and well thought out (go to YouTube and watch it from her perspective. Very Cool!). And he made Cybermen scary as all get go again. Two problems though, one the Amy and Rory story ended not with a bang but with a thud. Having the Weeping Angels take them out, especially in such an afterthought manner didn't sit well, but their characters were on a downward cycle anyway. The other problem is Clara. She is fun (and beautiful) but, at least as of now, I am not sure where her character and story line is going.
The War Doctor John Hurt - The fact that such a respected and well known actor would take this role tells you enough about how much of a following Doctor Who now has. It was a great touch, and a needed one too, to help traverse the 8th to 9th gap which has existed since the relaunch. His appearances have been limited, but I imagine you'll read more of his stories in future publishing. He held his own nicely on The Day of the Doctor and having him regenerate at the end was a nice touch. Still, as far as amount of content to judge him on, kind of thin around the edges.
Now we need to talk about two other Doctors. First the 8th Doctor Paul McGann. The Night of the Doctor did a lot of things, but two of the more important ones were to give him a regeneration sequence to the War Doctor, and, when getting ready to regenerate, he mentions all of his companions, companions previously restricted to the audio dramas which kept Doctor Who going before the reboot. This added a lot of depth to his body of work to be considered.
The other Doctor is the 9th Christopher Eccleston. This is not sour grapes because he didn't show up for a regeneration sequence for The Day of the Doctor. Actors are busy people and the ones I know who are good are usually committed to projects years ahead of time. This has more to do with clearly ranking him higher just because he was the doctor when they relaunched. Dalek is still a top all time episode and overall I really liked his tenure, but as I get further away from his time, the luster is coming off the apple.
New list:
12. The 6th Doctor Colin Baker
11. The 3rd Doctor Jon Pertwee
10. The 7th Doctor Sylvester McCoy
9. The 1st Doctor William Hartnell
8. The War Doctor John Hurt
7. The 2nd Doctor Patrick Thoughton
6. The 9th Doctor Christopher Eccleston
5. The 8th Doctor Paul McGann
4. The 11th Doctor Matt Smith
3. The 5th Doctor Peter Davison
2. The 10th Doctor David Tennant
1. The 4th Doctor Tom Baker
Friday, July 4, 2014
Ranking Rush's Albums - Revisited
Back on July 14 of 2010, I ranked Rush's albums according to which ones I thought were best. Since then, Clockwork Angels was released in 2012 and I've not gone back and placed that album on the list. I'm here to rectify this problem -
Clockwork Angels/2012 - I'm not sure how to categorize this album. I like it, and songs like Caravan and The Garden are great. The Wreckers is a top fifteen all time song for me. Here's the hitch, this album sounds a little bit different, but not for a bad reason. They are older, better and more confident in their abilities, allowing them to branch off into new styles. I commend them on trying new things, but, in my opinion, it led to mixed results.
Looking back at my list, place it at number 12, and move A Farewell to Kings and the rest down one more spot.
Side note, I give them tremendous kudos for talking the strings on stage with them on their last tour. That kicked ass and gave their live show a new depth.
Clockwork Angels/2012 - I'm not sure how to categorize this album. I like it, and songs like Caravan and The Garden are great. The Wreckers is a top fifteen all time song for me. Here's the hitch, this album sounds a little bit different, but not for a bad reason. They are older, better and more confident in their abilities, allowing them to branch off into new styles. I commend them on trying new things, but, in my opinion, it led to mixed results.
Looking back at my list, place it at number 12, and move A Farewell to Kings and the rest down one more spot.
Side note, I give them tremendous kudos for talking the strings on stage with them on their last tour. That kicked ass and gave their live show a new depth.
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Friday Music - Durry
I need a quiet weekend. Puzzle time! I just hope all the pieces fit. Love this band.
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A busy weekend. I hate really busy weekends. Plus side is I am tango dancing tonight! I like the vibe of the song, the video is rough.
