https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IywCQpAPlW8
Friday, February 3, 2017
Three Years
I have been sober, by my own choice, for three years now.
January is a real bastard. I never realized how bad my seasonal affective disorder was. It's not the cold, as I prefer the feeling of cold to the feeling of heat. It's the darkness. More than a few days, I crawled back into bed during the day, pulled up the covers, and slept. Not so much a depression. More avoidance.
I still have the impulse urges, reminders of my old ways which sudden upon me like a flash of lightning. Last week, as I was driving my son to sports, I drove past a liquor store and thought, "I can stop by there a lit..."
I shake my head. No, I'm not aching for a drink. I'm not parked in a liquor store parking lot asking for the justification to stay in my car. I really do not want to drink again. I'm not sure where those old habits lurk in my head, but I'm quick to push them back to wherever they came from.
I can say, without a doubt, my life is so much better without the alcohol.
I still won't celebrate until I get to 5 years, and even then I'll only do a steak; ribeye, medium rare, with good blue cheese on it.
Until then, Entenmann's Devils Food double chocolate donuts. They are what I have when I'm hankering for something. The craving is not booze, just something. The donuts prevent it from becoming something bad.
January is a real bastard. I never realized how bad my seasonal affective disorder was. It's not the cold, as I prefer the feeling of cold to the feeling of heat. It's the darkness. More than a few days, I crawled back into bed during the day, pulled up the covers, and slept. Not so much a depression. More avoidance.
I still have the impulse urges, reminders of my old ways which sudden upon me like a flash of lightning. Last week, as I was driving my son to sports, I drove past a liquor store and thought, "I can stop by there a lit..."
I shake my head. No, I'm not aching for a drink. I'm not parked in a liquor store parking lot asking for the justification to stay in my car. I really do not want to drink again. I'm not sure where those old habits lurk in my head, but I'm quick to push them back to wherever they came from.
I can say, without a doubt, my life is so much better without the alcohol.
I still won't celebrate until I get to 5 years, and even then I'll only do a steak; ribeye, medium rare, with good blue cheese on it.
Until then, Entenmann's Devils Food double chocolate donuts. They are what I have when I'm hankering for something. The craving is not booze, just something. The donuts prevent it from becoming something bad.
Friday, January 27, 2017
Friday, January 20, 2017
Friday, January 13, 2017
Friday, January 6, 2017
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