Friday Music - Dan Fogelberg

Happy New Year Baby!

Friday Music - Paul Metsa

All the best laid plans...

Hope you have a nice holiday!  Miss you Baby.

Friday Music - The Puppini Sisters

Busy...busy...busy...

Christmas cheer intact!

Friday Music - Sixpence None The Richer

Be careful if your neighbor is trying to build a particle accelerator...

Friday Music - Otis Redding

On a completely unrelated note:

Insanely fit 18-24 year olds,

Wearing hardly anything,

Many looking for positive attention,
An open, free spirited sexual culture,

Most on mood enhancers,

And they laugh at my jokes...

EDM culture is FUN!

Merry Christmas! 

Friday Music Part 2 - Gully Boys

My secret girlfriend...shhhh!

Friday Music Part 1 - Girl in Red

I do not kiss and tell.  No one telling the truth ever would...

Friday Music - Leslie Odom Jr.

If you made a Poe reference, that would tell me something...

Edgar Allan was my favorite writer.

Friday Music - Tessa Violet

I love when someone who has never done my job tells me how to do it.  DELIGHTFUL!

Did you just tell men to date women age appropriate...

Friday Music - The Doors

If it's purely coincidence, then it truly is bizarre how often our paths cross...

People are strange.

October 31st...

October 30th...

October 29th...

October 28th...

October 27th...

October 26th...

October 25th...

Friday Music - Black Rebel Motorcycle Club

Now she's gone.

Love burns inside me...

Friday Music - Mark Ronson ft. Angel Olsen

Me concerning myself with your well being...my feelings were genuine.

Don't be destructive to others as a way to fill your own voids.  Talk to a friend.

Friday music - Cansei De Ser Sexy

Music is not my hot hot sex. I do enjoy it...

Friday Music - Phantogram

A bearded seer from overseas...careful.  Don't kill happiness just because you can.  You can whip me a few more times if you need a release.

Friday Music - Fall Out Boy ft. Wyclef Jean

 I only visited you three times this week.  The attraction is fading...

Friday Music - Lindsey Stirling

I'm so exhausted.  Parenting is HARD!

Friday Music - Xenia Pax

For God's sake...I'm staying in tonight!  I can barely walk as it is...

Friday Music - HAIM

Maybe it's something to do with how I smell...?

Friday Music - The Darkenss

This has been the most exhausting summer ever!

Friday Music - The Regrettes

When you you dive into the oyster shell you have a tendency of finding a pearl...

You're gonna fall, but I'll catch you...

Friday Music - Tessa Violet

Rolling across the flat plain,

Coming towards you...

Friday Music - Taylor Swift

Kid Rock sucks.

And I know someone who NEVER doesn't talk in double entendres.

Friday Music - MisterWives

I am not attractive, so I have no idea how this keeps happening...

Friday Music - The Beths

Even though we ran in similar circles, we were always orbiting opposite of each other...

Friday Music - Japanese Breakfast

(...hot...hot...hot...)

Friday Music - Clario

Lubricious..

Dearly and Deeply...

Friday Music - Charly Bliss

Caught her and the band a few weeks back.  A VERY solid endeavor...

Friday Music - Paul Metsa & Wee Willie Walker, ft. Sounds of Blackness

The last four days are a freaking blur.  So nice to be back from vacation...

Paul's a friend.

Friday Music - Billie Eilish

Wandering under the strawberry moon...

Friday Music - X-Ray Spex

I used to know a girl...

I got better...

Friday Music - The Sundays

Welcome to Summer.

Maybe I should offer to pay college tuitions for a birthday present...

Friday Music - The Cactus Blossoms

Did I ever mention I always wanted to be a cowboy?

Friday Music - Atlas Sound

May just sucks...I'm so freaking exhausted.

That being said, music must go on!

Friday Music - Lil Nas X and Billy Ray Cyrus

I think this is one of the better country songs I've heard.  Undeniably, the reason country radio is not playing it is because it sounds too 'black.'

For the record, I've heard country songs by white people use some of the same hooks in country music, and those songs got played.

Friday Music - Nik Kershaw

April and May suck...

This video is rough.

 

Friday Music - Girls Aloud

A tiny bit of a salute to a moment in a current popular film.

Friday Music - Modest Mouse

She scares me.  I see her, flirty as always, and I can't look away.

Who could?

Friday Music - The Black Keys

Chicken Man!  He's everywhere, he's everywhere!

Friday Music - Secret Garden

The good thing about being in New Zealand is you get over any height issues you might have by being around hobbits. Arthur Pass looks inviting...

Friday Music - Toro y Moi

Google plus died, and no one cares...

6 years?  That supernova burned out fast.

Friday Music - Jenny Lewis

I am going to go see her tonight.  I hope she takes me with her when she's done...

Friday Music - Yeah Yeah Yeahs

Been sick for over a week.  Delightful!

Friday Music - Marshmello Ft. CHVRCHES

Back in South Carolina...

I want to go someplace I never want to see again...

Friday Music - Death and Vanilla

With death, I realize I'm more lost than I thought I'd be...

Friday Music - Grimes Ft. HANA

Blah...

Friday Music - The Moody Blues

My father died on Monday...

He taught me to love The Moody Blues.

Friday Music - Dan Wilson

And now the outdoor water faucet is leaking...in Minnesota...in winter...and it's really cold outside...

Friday Music - Men I Trust

I had a person say I saved her this week.

All I really did was listen...

Five Years

Five years ago I gave up alcohol.  I've never regretted the decision.

Alcoholic is a wide ranging term.  It can refer to the person who's hopelessly consumed by alcohol, incapable of anything outside of their quest for more liquor, but it can also be used to describe me. I was a normal guy who just liked having a drink every once in awhile, then every few days, then every night, then some afternoons.  The natural stresses of life started to pile up and alcohol was an easy device to mellow me out, until I started looking forward to the next drink instead of enjoying the drink I just had.  I didn't get busted for DWI or get fired from my job, but I knew if I continued down the path I was on, it would only be a matter of time.  I made the decision to quit on my own.

Nothing is ever so linear. There were other reasons my alcohol intake was a problem, but I'll leave those for another day.

Giving up alcohol is not easy, especially in a country which seems to be trying to pour the booze down your gullet.  We're so programmed to want booze we don't realize how drinking is sold to us as 'a necessary part of your lives.'  Tough day at work?  How about a few drinks!  Relationship problems?  Alcohol will turn your frown upside down!  Having a get together with friends?  Well everyone should bring a six pack!

Holidays are the toughest.  Most us us have memories of a nice glass of wine with the meal, or a hot toddy with dessert.  It was the hardest hurdle I had to jump to finally get past alcohol's deceptive nature.

Sports pushes an astounding amount of liquor on it's viewers.  Drinks at the game with liquor ads everywhere you look, the near demand to go drink the game away at a sports bar disguised as a family friendly venue, and the broadcast itself, drenched in liquor ads, each one implying good times and hot fun are only a drink away.  You don't realize how much liquor is marketed towards you in sports until you quit drinking.  You're gobsmacked when you finally take inventory of it.

I want to be VERY clear; I do not think people who drink are bad people.  On the contrary, drink up if you don't have a problem with addiction.  That's your right, and alcohol has been part of our culture since the first groups of humans started to get together in communities.  But if alcohol is becoming one of the more important things in your life, then you probably need to step away.

The decision to quit was mine.  I woke up in late summer of 2013 and realized if I didn't stop drinking, it was only a matter of time before I lost.  I don't consider myself a particularly vicious alcoholic, but it still took me months to completely stop (outside of communion at church).  I knew some things had to be done, such as removing alcohol from the house and not getting myself into social situations where booze was around, tempting me (there are some friends I don't see nearly as much as I used to), but it had to be done.  Even so, and with a very supportive family, it took me six months to finally be clear.

Let me put forward something to anyone thinking they need to sober up.  I didn't quit with Alcoholics Anonymous.  There are a lot of ways to quit drinking and AA is only one of them.  I didn't go to a fancy expensive treatment clinic, nor did I enter into extensive therapy and group sessions.  I did this my own way, and you can too, regardless of whether you embrace AA or if you take a different path.

AA is a fine organization, and for some people it's a literal life saver.  I tried it three times, and each time I had a horrific experience which only made things worse.  It also bothered me greatly when I would talk with a recovering AA alcoholic, and I'd mention I wasn't sure if AA would work for me personally, they'd give me the AA ultimatum; 'Either you go do AA with me, or stop bothering me!'  That's not a support ideology I agree with.  AA works for many people, but it's one of many options.

I had a neighbor who was recovering with AA who did help, never judging me for not swearing to the AA code.   Larry gave me some great guidance, and I went to a sensational counselor, Bob, who taught me two codes which helped me greatly.  The first one is simple:

• Love yourself
• Love others in your life
• And have others love you in return

I've been lucky enough to have all three of those from the beginning.  Surrounding yourself with people who want to see you get better makes quitting a lot easier.

The other thing which Bob told me to do is to always have the following three things in my life:

• Exercise, or at least moderate physical activity
• Embrace whatever you believe in as a higher power (or for atheists, find something you enjoy which gives your life a smile, and do it on a regular basis)
• Regularly talk with someone about your recovery.

The last one is so important.  It's never good to go through life avoiding talking about your main struggles.  I talk with my counselor on a regular basis (Bob retired last year and so now I meet with another fine counselor, David), and I talk with my kids on a regular basis too.  It's been very important letting them have a path of communication to me, giving them an outlet.  It's important for them to see you working to make yourself better.  It's made me a better dad.

Final thoughts on this.  If you are drinking too much:

You're making some really horrible choices, you probably don't realize it.

Ask yourself if drinking is an unhealthy vehicle you use to avoid the uncomfortable things in life.

You will be shocked at how much better your mind works in the months after you quit drinking.

You'll be healthier almost immediately after quitting.

Quit and you'll save an insane amount of money.

I'm done preaching.  Go live your own life, one that I hope makes you smile.  Mine does.

Friday Music - Ava Max

Now, it's time for a long distance dedication...

Friday Music - Snail Mail

My father is dying...

I may not need him to guide me anymore, but I so want him to tell me what to do...

Friday Music - Lizzo

80's version of Lizzo is sexy AF...

Friday Music - Flight Facilities, feat. Christine Hoberg

My choices lately have been a little surreal; past, present, and future.

I'm not going to lie...the future is a lot of fun...

Friday Music - Soccer Mommy

We should know better.

Things are beyond complicated.

But those lips are so cool...